#39: Progress
Hi!
I wish I had a more thematic update for you all this month. The truth is, I haven’t been making much. I’ve been getting a lot of stuff back:
And I’ve been making bigger things:
And new things:
But, overall, I’ve been feeling a little out of step with my work.
On Friday, I had to run back to the studio to fix a mistake I’ve made far too many times before—forgetting to take the latex off of my patterns before firing—the same mistake that ruined a plate just weeks beforehand.
Luckily, this time I managed to save the piece before it went into the kiln, but I felt a little unmotivated after that. Like I had no reason to be there. If I kept making these amateur mistakes over and over again, what was I even doing?
I guess it’s not really imposter syndrome to feel out of place when you’re still new to something. There should be another term for this feeling, which I think is exacerbated by spending so much time on the internet surrounded the work of with people with decades of experience. It’s the feeling of looking across that expanse between the work you’re creating right now and all of the work you want to be creating. Like a nostalgia for your mind’s vision.
Anyway, I’m glad that, on my way out, I stopped by the glaze shelf to see if any more of my pieces had come out, because sometimes a piece comes out just the way you envisioned it. Or, if not exactly how you envisioned it, at least as some confirmation that you’re making progress toward that vision.
And progress, I’ve started to realize, is the thing that motivates me most.
I struggle with reflection. I don’t know if any of you feel the same? The future seems uncertain and is coming at me so fast that it demands my constant attention. I’m always so focused on what I’m doing at present, on my goals, and my projections—despite the fact that I know, as the old adage goes, that true understanding can only be gained in hindsight.
On Wednesday, I’ll be doing a Q&A. Submit questions by replying to this email or filling out this form. See you next week!